Nobody Gets My Name Right

Having taught for five years now, I'm accustomed to having children say my name wrong.  There's something about "Mr. Lucas" that gives a lot of these kids fits.  The following is a list of some of the things I've been called over the past few years:

1. Mr. Lewis:  This is pretty unfair to the kids, however.  There are only two men on campus... me, and Mr. Lewis.  We also have three women named Mrs. Lewis, and last year one of their husbands was a permanent sub, meaning we had three men on campus, Mr. Lucas, Mr. Lewis, and Mr. Lewis, along with Mrs. Lewis, Mrs. Lewis, and Mrs. Lewis.

2. Uncle Lewis:  This is one of my favorites, especially because the girl who called me this looked like Snoop Dogg and had a voice that came straight from her nasal cavity, making it extra funny.

3. Mr. Utus:  I've had a few kids call me this.  Kind of sounds like uterus.

4. Mr. Pelucas:  This translates to "Mr. Wigs" in Spanish, and that, my friends, is funny.

5. Mr. Blucas:  Awesome.

6. Mr. Ukie:  I don't know how this came about, but I answer to the Mr., not what comes after it.

7. Mr. Lupus: My all-time favorite.  I'd go by this all the time if I thought I could get away with it.

8. Papá:  One of my ESL kids early in the year called me this, and my assistant was mamá.  I thought it was funny, but my assistant didn't like being mommy, so we made him quit calling us that.

9. Mr. Ludo:  Another personal favorite of mine.  The kid who called me this had a rather unique name that started with a "v", so I got back at him by calling him "Voldemort".  He didn't get the joke, but it would make him laugh, and he's got these huge dimples that make me laugh, so who cares if he gets the joke or not. 


Now, I'd be remiss if I didn't discuss my assistant's name.  She is Mrs. Hernandez.  For those of you who don't speak Spanish, the proper pronunciation of this name is supposed to come out like "Airnondes".  Unfortunately, not too many of our coworkers speak spanish, so she rarely hears her name spoken properly.  On a much funnier side note, say "Mrs. Hernandez" to yourself.  What does it sound like if you say it quickly?  Yes, that's right: Mr. Nandez.  Probably 80 % of our students call Mrs. Hernandez "Mr. Nandez", and her teaching with Mr. Lucas/Lupus/Ludo doesn't help, because they are conditioned to say Mr. rather than Mrs.  In fact, every card/present/note I've given her has been addressed to "Mr. Nandez".  We have a very unique, but wonderful chemistry, and make a great team.  I'm just glad she can put up with me.